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observation de vous;

observation de moi
on isolé tiennent le premier rôle
vous ne savez pas qui vous êtes
j'ai vous ai toujours aimé
mais vous avez pris mon amour pour accordé
parole au revoir

the 4 hearts

an almost perfect lady.

August 2006
September 2006
October 2006
November 2006
December 2006
January 2007
February 2007
March 2007
April 2007
May 2007
June 2007
July 2007
August 2007
September 2007
October 2007
November 2007
December 2007
January 2008
February 2008
March 2008
April 2008
May 2008
June 2008
July 2008
September 2008

(He) calls me baby
then (he) wont call me
says (he) adores me
and then ignores me

(He) keeps (his) distance
and sits on fences
puts up resistance
and builds defenses

Yu keep me hanging on the line
everytime yu change yur mind
First yu say yu won't
then yu say yu will
yu keep me hanging on
but we're not moving on
we're standing still
Jenny, yu've got me on my knees
Jenny, It's killing me

(He) needs (his) own space
(he's) playing mind games
sends up at my place
saying that (he's) changed

I'm trying to read between the lines
yu got me going out of my mind



honestly speaking, the past few days have been the happiest few times i've had the past one month. i just needed to hear the words. 'never let a guy control your life. i've got so agitated over whatever happened, got so worked up, so tired, so emotional. it's stupid. and it's crazy. it made me feel like i had absolutely no control over myself. and i felt like a total loser. yes. that was how i felt. that was what i was reduced to feel. it was so awful. i felt like i'd rather have thrown away whatever i placed in effort to do for that person. and for what? did it really create a smile? did it even receive any words of gratitude? nope. not a single one. the past few days. i felt so happy. because ever since that day where i lost all control of myself, i felt a new wave of energy to carry on where i left it. the reason? i'm pushed to a corner where i gotta submit and either i fall or break free. but no more. i'm not willing to be made to wait if i don't want to. and i'm not willing to wait if i feel it isn't appreciated. and most of all, i'm not willing to wait, because i know deep down i'm not wanted. i'm not a toy to be pushed around, to be held and cuddled tightly when there's time for me, and no stress. i'm not a toy to be taken anytime just because there's nothing else left, and the whole world seems to be unfair. i'm a girl. who wants to be loved all the time, who's willing to love back just as much as she's loved. it's just that simple. if everyone else can, i don't understand why the person who means so much just can't get it. it is truly painful. i used to be hurting so much that the tears would come. now i'm hurting to the extend that it becomes even so painful to cry. i've put in my all, to receive nothing at all.


yu seem to have broken all yur promises. but its okay. i seem to have broken all of mine too.
'making love out of nothing at all'.

- everything's just temporary;
11:57 PM